It's been almost a month of lockdown in Malaysia. I'm have no idea when the lockdown will be lifted, when the life of being stuck without freedom of going anywhere I want can be end. There is something came into my mind recently and I don't know who I could share this to. As you guys read the title, you already know that what I will share in this blog.
Recently, due to FMCO, my boyfriend stuck at home as his career not in the list of essential services. However, I have to continue go to work and go to office alternatively. Thus formed a situation whereas one person is too free and bored, and the another one have to deal with work and tasks. Maybe because all these, we started to have a gap in between us. Just in last week, we have a quarrel about I've been changed, two days did not drop you a videocall before sleep. I did drop you so many calls, you did not pick up and don't even wanna to reply my message at all. So I was thinking that since you don't want to pick up, why not I just go to sleep. And yea.. our argument starts from the day and it last for almost one week.
Two person different thought, what I want was settle the problem and solve it, what he want was put aside and don't talk about it anymore. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the one who always say sorry and tried to be soft, but please don't forget I'm also a girl who want a boyfriend who could also take care of my feeling and could 低下头. I don't know how long do I still can stay with this relationship. 3 years and 3 months ; 1184 days, not that easy. I scare I will regret and reluctance if I gave up this relationship. I'm not that kind of person who easily giving up but once I had made up of my mind, I will just cut it off straight. If it were to end this relationship, I won't easily when into another relationship that fast any more. It so tired and troublesome sometimes. An ambiguous relationship might more suits and fit me.
25-year-old, what I want in a relationship might have been change. Mindset, thought might have to be align in order to keep the relationship longer. Not like those youngster, love is the most important one. Other factors - monetary, freedom might be the factor affecting a relationship. I have been read before this line in one of the blog - “能够在一段感情里变成一个小女孩，是幸运的，如果一段感情把你变成一个成熟的人，也是幸福的。可能一辈子都可能遇不到对的人，但我们还是要把自己的生活过好，找到自己喜欢做的事情，而不是为了迎合谁。无论一个人还是两个人，享受每一段过程里的状态。”
My current relationship, he treat me like a princess whatever I wish for and want for, he could tried his best to give it to me, at the same time, I also grow to be more mature, for me right now, he is not the world to me as I still have my family, my friends and my own work. But he wish that he is the priority in my life. I'm not too sure whether he is the right person to me or not. People around me was asking me the same question, are he the one you want to marry in future? I don't have the YES or NO answer to this question, because I don't know tomorrow and unexpected accident which one came first.
Let everything go with the flow. Think too much makes life complicated. So yea.. everything end here. BYE!
