It's been almost two months didn't even step into my blog. Here is some update about my lately today.
Malaysia lift MCO in October, everyone around me started to hover around, cuti-cuti Malaysia. After breaking up with him, we have our first meeting up at the end of October. I never think off that we could still sit together and have lunch together. I know the reason for him to come all the way down just to meet up with me. It has been 4 months passed, I know that he is still looking for a chance to let us back in the relationship, but for me, I'm really tired of maintaining a relationship right now. I'm enjoying what I'm doing right now, love what I'm doing. I could stay up late at night doing nothing, no one bothers me on what I'm doing. Is time to move on, maybe I'm not the right person to stay with you till old.
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Early this month, due to always hanging out with friends, got infectious to COVID. I though I would affected anymore as everyone nearby me has been finished vaccinated and all of us take precautious seriously. But yeah.. I been tested out positive on PCR on 7th. I did my first RTK test once I shows some symptoms, but end up negative. Until the day, my others friend been tested positive, then I did my PCR test. And yea.. start my quarantine life in room for 10 days.
Today is my last day quarantine, and my mysej has turned into normal. Now I can back into my normal life, can hovering around house. But I also have to back to office and continue my working life, although I didn't stop working since I been detected positive. However, WFH I could do whatever I want during free time, I could sleep or watching drama, even playing game. Haha.
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Sometime I was wondering am I a bad person? Maybe is due to feeling of freshness to others so I could easily gave up for the 3 years relationship. Or maybe I already tired of how I easily get mood swing due to a person? I really don't know what actually I'm looking for. During this "window period", I did talk to a lot guys, but actually I know I will not stay up long with them because one day I will feel tired on the way of how we communication.
But yesterday, one of my friend asking me a question. Two guys right now standing in front of you, forget about the distance and country. Which one I would choose for. I really don't have the answer for this question, two of them are really different type. One is like a big brother, care about me a lot but he might not have much time to accompany me because of his working environment, another one is 2 years younger than me, but his mindset is mature and he might have time and he willing to spending time with me.
But before this I'm a person who wouldn't consider anyone who younger than me to become my partner as I might have childish and love to play characteristic on myself. I need someone who could understand me and handle the childish of me as a partner. Sometime, I feel a bit contradict to myself, I could ignore that I might have some unknown feeling towards the younger one, somehow, I'm too afraid that he is not the one who suits me and I might be wasting my time as I already not at the age of 18. I have lots of time to choose and reconsider.
Hmm.. maybe I also don't know myself, I don't know what I really want in deep. Haha. Okay.. that's all for today. See ya xoxo