It's been almost two months didn't even step into my blog. Here is some update about my lately today.

Malaysia lift MCO in October, everyone around me started to hover around, cuti-cuti Malaysia. After breaking up with him, we have our first meeting up at the end of October. I never think off that we could still sit together and have lunch together. I know the reason for him to come all the way down just to meet up with me. It has been 4 months passed, I know that he is still looking for a chance to let us back in the relationship, but for me, I'm really tired of maintaining a relationship right now. I'm enjoying what I'm doing right now, love what I'm doing. I could stay up late at night doing nothing, no one bothers me on what I'm doing. Is time to move on, maybe I'm not the right person to stay with you till old.

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Early this month, due to always hanging out with friends, got infectious to COVID. I though I would affected anymore as everyone nearby me has been finished vaccinated and all of us take precautious seriously. But yeah.. I been tested out positive on PCR on 7th. I did my first RTK test once I shows some symptoms, but end up negative. Until the day, my others friend been tested positive, then I did my PCR test. And yea.. start my quarantine life in room for 10 days.

Today is my last day quarantine, and my mysej has turned into normal. Now I can back into my normal life, can hovering around house. But I also have to back to office and continue my working life, although I didn't stop working since I been detected positive. However, WFH I could do whatever I want during free time, I could sleep or watching drama, even playing game. Haha.

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Sometime I was wondering am I a bad person? Maybe is due to feeling of freshness to others so I could easily gave up for the 3 years relationship. Or maybe I already tired of how I easily get mood swing due to a person? I really don't know what actually I'm looking for. During this "window period", I did talk to a lot guys, but actually I know I will not stay up long with them because one day I will feel tired on the way of how we communication.

But yesterday, one of my friend asking me a question. Two guys right now standing in front of you, forget about the distance and country. Which one I would choose for. I really don't have the answer for this question, two of them are really different type. One is like a big brother, care about me a lot but he might not have much time to accompany me because of his working environment, another one is 2 years younger than me, but his mindset is mature and he might have time and he willing to spending time with me. 

But before this I'm a person who wouldn't consider anyone who younger than me to become my partner as I might have childish and love to play characteristic on myself. I need someone who could understand me and handle the childish of me as a partner. Sometime, I feel a bit contradict to myself, I could ignore that I might have some unknown feeling towards the younger one, somehow, I'm too afraid that he is not the one who suits me and I might be wasting my time as I already not at the age of 18. I have lots of time to choose and reconsider.

Hmm.. maybe I also don't know myself, I don't know what I really want in deep. Haha. Okay.. that's all for today. See ya xoxo 

A new month, a brand new me.. Finally get fully vaccinated - 14 days after finish my second dose. Able to go out and visit saloon to have a haircut. Wanted to cut my hair short for long.. My last haircut to short might have already been 2 years ago. Some of my friend said this haircut suits me a lot and makes me feel younger. 😂

Back to my single life for almost 4 months, sometimes I have that kind of feeling of kind of sad and regret of letting go an almost 4 years relationship. I thought when I talked about the story of me and him I wouldn't cry any more, but yeah.. my tears still burst out of my control. I not sure whether I'm still into it and have not got out from that relationship or I feel pity on the older me as I did put in so much of effort and doing the best that I could to him. Although we still keep in touch, I know that he might also feel the same way or he still waiting me to go back to him, I just feel kind of tiring and I know both of us need to move on.

Did talk to my friends about this, one of them ask me to hold him on hand and reconsider as if I couldn't find someone better, I could go back to him. But somehow I feel bad to do this because it is wasting his time to let him keep on waiting for me and it might be we couldn't back to each other someday. In this few months, I know I have changed a lot. From my thinking till the way that I treat someone... Ever since I broke up, I know even though I'm the one who telling him we might can reconsider to go back relationship in future, however, I also know that it is hard for me. 

I could just say that, the current me feel more comfortable to be alone. Sometimes will feel loneliness but I could just do whatever I want and I do not need to inform or tell anyone what I'm currently doing. All decision and steps I could just make it all by myself. I feel happy right now, and enjoy what I'm doing now.

So yea.. that all for this update. See ya. XOXO

Finally everything end. Having a long talk with boyfriend yesterday night, first time knowing that you have so much of dissatisfied in this relationship. As what I thought we just having different mindset on settling things and issue, but just on yesterday phone call, I finally know it. Maybe it's not just me feel  aggrieved in this relationship. As my friend said I'm not that kind of person who will let myself to be upset and petty in a relationship, however, with you, because of love, I always give in. 

1194 days; It's not that you can let go that easily. Just maybe I need some time to make it fade. It took up me some time to make myself calm down and when I think about it again, I wouldn't tear up so easily. Everything back to normal and no one's know how much I tear for this relationship. In this relationship, everyone told me that I really put in a lots of effort and try to be your perfect lover for my best to keep you stay with me and love me more. But yea.. no one knows how much grieved I have been suffered. 

Every girls wish to have a guy who can make me happy and won't ignore me when I'm sad. Yes, you did love me deeply and I can feel that strongly, but every time I cry in the midnight were after our fight and that makes me think whether we are the one who suitable to go on for long. This might be one of the reason why our relationship has gone to this kind of situation. You always said why I wouldn't give you a chance to make changes, but did you know how I feel each time my friends told me not to do so when I'm trying my best to talk nicely to you and try to solve the problem with you? 失望是一次一次的被建立起来, it take me a lot time to do this decision to take this step. I always hope that we could stay sweet and happy for long and I did dream of our wedding, life of been together in future. Who knows, "accident" and future which one came first. I know you are try hard to make up for the mistake you have done to me, however, I'm tired now. I just want some "me time" and try to treat myself good and don't wanna to step into relationship again at least for now.

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Recently, I knew a guy from playing game. In the world of game, I might easily felt into the trap of  I love to talk more towards stranger and his concern about what had happen to me easily make me feel he care about my feeling. But I know it just a short-lived feeling, and it might make me out of direction whether if I like him or just curious about the person. Somehow, in the past one month, I did share a lot with him about my boyfriend, about my curiosity. He also share about his ex and how he treat her. I could say that I might envy how he could do so much to his ex and how he still unable to forget about her even though they had broke up for months. 

Maybe because of we talk for hours in the midnight, tell each others stories and experiences. I started to look forward for his messages and calls. But every time, I'm the one who started the conversation, and trying hard to find topic to continue our conversation. I might feel a bit tired right now, just wanna to move on, and move him out of my mind. So that I could not find excuse to look for him. If that's the right decision, I'm a nobody to him, then I would accept the outcomes. Let's everything back to normal. If he do have a little bit of different feeling towards me, I believe he definitely will look for me. Forasmuch, it's time for me to put away your humble heart and beg for others' attention. 不想再坚持主动，喜欢你的人会主动联系你。

I think that's all for now. See you guys next time. xoxo

It's been almost a month of lockdown in Malaysia. I'm have no idea when the lockdown will be lifted, when the life of being stuck without freedom of going anywhere I want can be end. There is something came into my mind recently and I don't know who I could share this to. As you guys read the title, you already know that what I will share in this blog.

Recently, due to FMCO, my boyfriend stuck at home as his career not in the list of essential services. However, I have to continue go to work and go to office alternatively. Thus formed a situation whereas one person is too free and bored, and the another one have to deal with work and tasks. Maybe because all these, we started to have a gap in between us. Just in last week, we have a quarrel about I've been changed, two days did not drop you a videocall before sleep. I did drop you so many calls, you did not pick up and don't even wanna to reply my message at all. So I was thinking that since you don't want to pick up, why not I just go to sleep. And yea.. our argument starts from the day and it last for almost one week.

Two person different thought, what I want was settle the problem and solve it, what he want was put aside and don't talk about it anymore. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the one who always say sorry and tried to be soft, but please don't forget I'm also a girl who want a boyfriend who could also take care of my feeling and could 低下头. I don't know how long do I still can stay with this relationship. 3 years and 3 months ; 1184 days, not that easy. I scare I will regret and reluctance if I gave up this relationship. I'm not that kind of person who easily giving up but once I had made up of my mind, I will just cut it off straight. If it were to end this relationship, I won't easily when into another relationship that fast any more. It so tired and troublesome sometimes. An ambiguous relationship might more suits and fit me.

25-year-old, what I want in a relationship might have been change. Mindset, thought might have to be align in order to keep the relationship longer. Not like those youngster, love is the most important one. Other factors - monetary, freedom might be the factor affecting a relationship. I have been read before this line in one of the blog - “能够在一段感情里变成一个小女孩，是幸运的，如果一段感情把你变成一个成熟的人，也是幸福的。可能一辈子都可能遇不到对的人，但我们还是要把自己的生活过好，找到自己喜欢做的事情，而不是为了迎合谁。无论一个人还是两个人，享受每一段过程里的状态。”

My current relationship, he treat me like a princess whatever I wish for and want for, he could tried his best to give it to me, at the same time, I also grow to be more mature, for me right now, he is not the world to me as I still have my family, my friends and my own work. But he wish that he is the priority in my life. I'm not too sure whether he is the right person to me or not. People around me was asking me the same question, are he the one you want to marry in future? I don't have the YES or NO answer to this question, because I don't know tomorrow and unexpected accident which one came first. 

Let everything go with the flow. Think too much makes life complicated. So yea.. everything end here. BYE!

It's already the last day of the month. Time pass so fast. To be honest, I don't know what I had done in the past few month. And now it's almost half of the year 2021. As you read the title, you know that.. yea.. another round of MCO will be start tomorrow onward. This situation will be continue till when, I'm not too sure. Okays, let's recap what happen in the last few weeks.

Last Wednesday, I was one of the million people in fight for the quota of AZ vaccine (AstraZeneca). But unfortunately, I can't get it as the stupid website doesn't let me in to select the date for the appointment. This was my second time to register in for the vaccine but I still can't get it. I guess my luck doesn't work during the time. I giving up on the fight of the vaccine, I think I will just wait for the government appointment for the vaccine.

Took a long break from work - although it just 5 days off from work, to refresh and recharge myself. 耍废 for 5 days, watching the drama that I want, sleep till naturally woke up. Took 2 days to repair my car, spends lots of money 😢 and yet it still not yet finish, still need to sent for repaint my car as the bonnet part car paint already went off. Spend another few hours with Jie Han on photo shooting of our jewelry product.

A sneak-peak of the jewelry that I have launched in Instagram store since early Mid of May. Up until today we ye to receive any order, but I believe we will be better as the time goes. Everything is on-track and schedule, hope it does help to bring me passive side income.

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FMCO starts tomorrow, whether to WFH or continue to work in office, still pending my boss to make the announcement. I really hope that he could allows us to WFH as the daily cases has dramatically boost up from round 5k up to 9k in only two weeks time. The world are being changed by this virus and we have no idea how many months and years we need to fight through it but I am so looking forward for the day where we can go out without worries and even without wearing any mask. The day that we could be freely travelling around the world as before the pandemic. I hope you all can have a great day ahead despite you are still finding your way to survive in these day, especially we have no idea who has or carrying the virus nearby or just beside us.

So yeah.. that all for now. BYE! xoxo

It's been a long time didn't update. Let me recaps a bit on my birthday celebration last month. 😀 

As you guys know, month of April is my birthday month. My boyfriend come to visit me and have a birthday celebration with me. Yesss, it's all I hope for my birthday. On my birthday actual day, we had a dinner with my parents at Mitasu Japanese Restaurant in KL. The food there was okay, but just that bit of pricey. Thanks to my boyfriend who belanja me and my family for the dinner. We didn't really took any picture as the environment light doesn't really looks attractive.

The next day, having a great dinner with my bunch of girls at Marta's Kitchen. We actually had agreed to wear dress during the day, however, there is two pokai break the rules. I purposely bring my boyfriend go over shopping mall to choose my "dress". I've been searching for the perfect dress for the dinner. 

I didn't think I would have that day, to be a close contact to a Covid-19 patient. In my taught, I taught I wouldn't have to go thru this self-quarantine life until I have a vaccine jab. But yea, it happen to me. Let me share on how this get to me.

In the last few days of last month, my dad when out having dinner with his "drinking kaki". One of his friend was close contact to the confirm case and he has the symptom after having dinner with my dad. And yea.. tested to be positive. So my dad need to go thru test, first test result was negative. My all family members include me has to go thru self-quarantine as to confirm to stop the threat of spread. After few days, my dad gone thru his second test as he has been show up to have some symptoms such as fever and sore throat on the third day. Test result to be show that he has to be a positive case. 

Hahaha... we have to be recount our quarantine day as my dad count my dad positive result shown up day as Day 1. For safety reason, me and my brother and mum gone thru test for to ease the worry. We go for the first test at nearby Klinik Kesihatan as I'm not willing to pay for the test. 😂 

Two days after the first test, we receive a notification from MySejahtera on the test result - NEGATIVE. But with this pink strap on hand, it restrict me to go out. Although my result was negative, I still have to go thru 10 days of self-quarantine. Luckily that, these 10 days, me and my other family members does not have any symptoms and unwell feeling.

Half a month of working at home life, very happy that I could work freely and work with my own timeline and schedule. But sadly is that I need to back to office next Monday onward. 😢 Even though I'm work from home, my superior could also ask me to do this and that via phone. Sometimes, I have that kind of feeling why not you do it yourself, those stuff can be easily done by yourself but you still want to push over those task to me.

I'm always telling myself, it's okay Zoey.. It's already May, still got half-year to go. You can do it! This is the only momentum that force to stay at this current position. Okays.. it's all for now. See you guys in next post! xoxo

It's April! My birthday month 💓 Time pass so fast, it already second quarter of the year. Such a busy month in March, a lots of submission have to be done in last month. Everything keep come back and forth, multiple times of revising and editing. Sometimes I hope that I'm not that good in AI and Photoshop, so I can not to take up those tasks. I feel so exhausted and I don't know whether to still continue to work at this position and this kind of environment or not. A company wish you can do what so ever they want and try to squeeze you to the limit, I have to be multi-task and have to take up a lot of work. Work as a marketing, a designer, an event planning. 😢 Hmm.. I think in my every single posting on updating my recently, I will be complaining about my job, and my day at work.

Feel so tired mentally and physical, I miss travel, miss the day that I take leave from work even-though cut pay. Now already a year with this MCO and Covid-19 matters in Malaysia, all travel plan has been delay from months to years. Was wondering till when we could go travel around without worried of viruses and can be able to go out without a face mask. Next week will have a chance to have a short trip to Malacca, although it is a working trip I'm still glad that can be work outside of the office. And it is the my first trip in 2021! 😉

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In my last posting, I was talking about plan to start my own dream coffee shop. A little update on this matter, I was drafting out the costing and budgeting, started to discuss with my parent on my planning. However, end up they are not really to ready support me on my plan of business as they think that currently not the right timing to start up a business and my plan are not well-established yet. This plan not to say totally "die", just that it still in my mind, but I will on-hold it until that day I have enough ability to make my dream come true.

Another plan of mine running small business with friend are still on-going. As right now still pending the stock to arrive and start to do repacking and decide on the design of packaging box then everything can be up to sell. Hopefully this would bring us some income as my other side income are not really working right now. 

Still have two week till my birthday, hope to get some surprise during the day of my birthday. Thus, the largest hope for now is that able to see my boyfriend on my birthday. So let see how ya, I might have a little update on month end or next month on about my celebration of birthday 😉

See you on next posting! xoxo.

Hello guys! Times flies so fast. It already March. So much planned to do, so many things want to do. It will be a lot busier starting next month. Been discuss a lot with my mum this few day on the roughly idea of my cafe. The idea of this cafe can be said was my dream when I'm still studying secondary, it actually a draft plan of me and one of my friend. I hope that one day, I could open up my own dream coffee shop full with the things that I loved. Currently it's still in the stage of planning and drafting all costing. Hope that I could start this business by second half of 2021.

Another plan of mine is to run a small accessories store with my bestie on IG so called - Silver & Salt. Currently in the stage of pending stock to arrive and do all those repacking and relabeling. Estimated launching date would be on my birthday that day. Hopefully everything can be smooth and it can be one of my passive income. As currently now Uncommon Beauty can be said totally no sales at all from that side as in my previous post I did mention our IG account has been force to shutdown and we had to start all over again. And I have no choice to have to look for others way of making money. 😁

MCO 2.0 has been started since early January up until today, and I hope the border can be open up as soon as possible. I miss my boyfriend a lot, and I wanted to see him so much. I guess we did not get to meet each other for almost more than 7 months since last year August. I think this could be the longest duration that we couldn't meet each other ever since I graduate from my university. This few month, due to couldn’t see each other, we have lots of quarrel because of small things. 

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Sharing some thought on what current happen around me. On the last day of CNY, which is chap goh meh, one of my friend receive a call from his sister called him back home immediately as that time they were gathering at my house playing lami mahjongs and poker cards. So yeah, around 12am, we end this gathering and actually at that time everyone was notices something bad happened to him. But we keep it in our heart, no one speak out on this. On the next day, when I just woke up *actually been woke up by phone rang* my friend's father passed away at midnight due to heart pain, or somehow call heart failure. Everyone were shocked when hearing about this, and as a friend for so many years, we when to pay a visit to his family.

It is really sad that he has to go thru all this responsibility to handle the household expense and all those daily expenses of his family. As this happened in all of sudden, he has to be strong enough to take over his father business and the responsibility to take care of his mother and sister. Somehow, I feel like sometimes humans are  very small and powerless for many things, we don't know what will happen to us on next day or even hours. Everything in planning can be beautiful and meaningful, but with some unknown things, we could not really know will we still can keep our planning goes on. 

If this happen to my in my current age, I also don't know what to do, and how to do.. I might lost of direction, as I'm the eldest among my siblings, I have to take care of all those stuff that my parent bring to me. I really grateful that my parents were still very healthy, I hope that they could enjoy the blessing as one day I strong enough to buy and provide them what they want when they old.

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It has been so stress for me, I think this is the most stress out period ever since I join this company. Boss giving out higher expectation as before, they are requesting more from me. Sometimes, I will keep on asking myself am I really suits to work in this industry? or should I have to try on some others things, such as changing my preference industry? Sighs.. I'm so lost of direction now...

I think that all for today. Hope to have more update on my current planning in future posting.

See you! xoxo.

Hello guys! It's CNY. *ps: already end my CNY holiday 😭* Another round of extend extended MCO 2.0. Feel sad that I couldn't pay a visit to my boyfriend this year. All of the planning has to be cancelled.

At first was planning to celebrate valentines together this year as it fall at Chor 3. But yeah.. we can't meet up in person. I'm still happy that he gave a big surprise on asking his friend to delivery the flower to me on that day. Second bouquet of flower I receive from you 💕

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Yesterday I cried, somehow, I already long time didn't tears. But yesterday, I really feel sad and 委屈 because of a small little argument with my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 3 years, but you still don't understand my personality. Sometime I have kinda feeling why don't you can understand what I really want and what I meant for when I talk to you. This few days, I feel like you doesn't really want to talk to me like how we talk to each other as always. Am I have the wrong feeling? It is that we too long did not meet each other. We always have such kind of quarrel.

Really have a bad mood this few days. So much things to do, too tired and stress of this kind of working. With this new superior joining in office, I was loaded with lots of tasks. *unable finished load of tasks* Sighh.. sometimes I feel like why not I just resign and leave this company. But after leaving this company, where should I go? Am I suitable to work in the same industry?

I think that all for today. Tata~